Editor’s Foreword:
Today, I’m playing internet “Chopsticks”… that is, I’m not going in for the usual researched piece… my typical post is only made after I check out several sources, and I normally choose the most succinct one to use. That is, today, everything is either light in nature or single-sourced. Here’s something to smile about… but do bear in mind, Russians NEVER give up (and do forgive me for the bad pun in the sentence, please)!
BMD
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Seat belt busted? No problem!
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Adaptor burnt out? No problem!
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Stolen stereo? No problem!
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Can’t afford a proper GPS? No problem!
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There isn’t a spoon to be found anywhere? No problem!
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You don’t have a bucket for ice? No problem!
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The steering wheel’s on the wrong side of the car? No problem!
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You get bad reception whenever it rains? No problem!
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The stove doesn’t work… you need your joe NOW… there’s a way out… NO problem!
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You’ve got a burnt-out wiper motor… you can fix it… no problem!
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Shop display about to fall? You’ve got it covered… no problem!
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Somebody stole the wheels? No problem!
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Exhaust pipe fell off? No problem!
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The baby has to be fed… the laundry’s gotta be done! There’s a workaround… no problem!
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Are you always losing your cables and connectors? Here’s a handy little something for ya… no problem!
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No skate park in town? No problem!
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Run out of nappies? No problem!
Tyotya Vara’s irreverent observation:
This is fine if you have a boy, but what DO you do if you run out of nappies and you have a girl? All you moms out there KNOW what I mean…
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This is a good illustration of the Russian national character. We don’t give up easily (unlike crybaby suburbanite Americans), and we use it up, make it last, and keep it until it wears out. If it ain’t broke, we don’t fix it; if it’s broken, we don’t toss it unless it’s totally knackered. This illustrates a common error of konvertsy… you see, we Russians are “artful dodgers” of the highest degree. That’s to say, lip-service is paid to a punctilious observance of the rules, yet, every Russian knows that there’s a way around virtually everything. For instance, the number of people actually “excommunicated” by the Russian Church over the last century is very small indeed… there may be less than ten… it’s normally only deployed against those who set up “opposition churches” (don’t listen to sorts like Stokoe who talk of “automatic excommunication”… that rubbish was one of Schmemann’s trademark heresies). That is, Russians are rather pragmatic sorts, in the end. We’re not “chapter-and-verse” quoters… if we can fix it with baling wire, some lath, and duct tape, we’ll say Slava Bogu and get on with life. Russians set up the samogon-apparat whenever Prohibition is decreed (which happens about once a generation in Russian history)… after all, “the tsar is far away”. You can have the compassionate and pragmatic Russian way, or, you can have the tight-arsed and judgemental konvertsy way… I seem to think that most of you would prefer the former.
BMD
