The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Fr Vladislav Provotorov
The Mayan Calendar won’t end on 21 December 2012 at 11.11 UTC; the calendar will simply reset to begin the next cycle, called the 14th Baktun, marked by the end-date of the 13th Baktun or 18.104.22.168.0. All over the world, people are predicting cataclysmic events, yet, there’s almost no scientific evidence pointing to anything extraordinary that’s supposed to occur. However, just in case, we’re keeping an “eye on the world” for you. Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard is the latest to predict horrors, read on to find out what.
Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, known for unapologetically making statements not entirely in keeping with the truth (e.g. Julian Assange’s activities), has come out and stated what many the world over are afraid to say. Yes, according to Gillard, in fact, the world will end on 21 December 2012. In a video address to the citizens of Australia, which has gone viral on the internet, Gillard warned that the end is near and that it may come from unexpected sources, saying, “My dear remaining fellow Australians, the end of the world’s coming. It wasn’t Y2K; it wasn’t even the carbon price. It turns out that the Mayan calendar was true. While Australia’s best and brightest at the SCIRO haven’t been able to confirm this, I’m confident in Triple J’s prediction that the world’s about to end. Whether the final blow comes from flesh eating zombies, demonic hell beasts, or from the total triumph of K-pop, if there’s one thing that you know about me, it’s this… I’ll always fight for you till the very end. At least, this mean I won’t have to do Q and A again. Good luck to you all”. I wonder what Julian Assnage would say to her claims that she’ll fight for all Australians to the end, but that’s another story.
Gillard isn’t alone, even respected meteorologists, such as Cleveland OH Channel 5 Chief Meteorologist Mark Johnson, are predicting the end is almost here, his weather forecast for the days after 21 December are alarming. On Saturday 22 December, Mr Johnson says the temperature will be 150 degrees, on Sunday 23 December 420 degrees, and on Monday, 512 degrees; this is in Fahrenheit. According to Mr Johnson, Tuesday would see the beginning of a cooling trend, with cooler temperatures of around -52 and on Wednesday down to -90. Meanwhile, police in Shanghai warned residents that the world won’t end, obviously, in an attempt to keep the masses in check so they’ll all die peacefully and not cause too much work for the police, who will be busy making their own preparations. The Communist Chinese conspiracy to lull the masses into obedience is also being promoted and assisted by the American space agency NASA at the direction of the Illuminati and New World Order, who know the world will end and want us all to die so they can be rid of us, because the world doesn’t have the resources to continue supporting 9 billion humans.
Meanwhile, the USA surrounds Syria with warships, and its mobilising troops to invade the country, and then Iran, which will kick off World War III, the Holy War of Armageddon, and the battle for Jerusalem and Israel as is prophesised in the Bible, a book the USA has been using as a basis for its foreign policy. We’re still waiting for Satan to reveal himself, one of the key signs of the Apocalypse. Rumour has it that it may be a former US Vice President or Secretary Of State, but so far there are no concrete reports. In West Hollywood CA, another serious location we must watch, end of the world parties are being planned, sponsored by the local government (also privy to secret Illuminati knowledge), encouraging people to meet California’s slide into the Pacific Ocean with drink and song, whilst they secretly escape in their rescue pods.
Seriously, though, one more time I’d like to repeat… the Mayan Calendar isn’t ending! 21 December 2012 is only the end of the 13th Baktun and the beginning of the 14th. See you on the 22nd.
Voice of Russia World Service