14 April 2015. From the Russian Web… Raccoon Funnies: Do You Know the Way to San José?

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Do you know the way to San José? I seem to have lost my way. What’s that you say? I’m in ALBERTA? I shouldn’t have turned right into Guadalajara. Can I have a koobie, please?

BMD

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14 April 2015. A Thought from St John Chrysostom

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To one of my friends in particular… you have a friend… I don’t rip up my friends in public or in private. Keep me informed…

BMD

14 April 2015. Thine Age Shall be Clearer

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New Hillary Clinton Ad Features Just Kittens

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Hillary Clinton followed up the official announcement of her candidacy with a new campaign ad featuring nothing but kittens. The sixty-second spot stars an assortment of kittens… tabbies, calicoes, Siamese, and a dozen other breeds… in a variety of adorable vignettes. At various points in the advertisement, the kittens are shown playing in a sock drawer, tangled up in yarn, and chasing a duckling. Clinton herself appears only in the final seconds of the ad, saying merely, “Hi. I’m Hillary”. The commercial immediately drew the wrath of the Republican National Committee chairman. A visibly furious Reince Priebus told Fox News, “It’s woefully short on substance. There’s no mention of what Hillary Clinton would do to grow our struggling economy, fix the disaster of Obamacare, or repair our damaged reputation abroad. It’s just cats”. In defence of the ad, the Clinton campaign issued the following statement, “America loves kittens. Loving kittens makes America strong. Hillary is ready for kittens. Kittens are ready for Hillary. Meow, meow, meow, meow”.

14 April 2015

Andy Borowitz

New Yorker

Borowitz Report

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/new-hillary-clinton-ad-features-just-kittens