Voices from Russia

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

2 September 2015. This Smells Like an Internet Goof (But It’s Good Shit Anyway)… Coffee Shop Opens for Non-Morning People

Filed under: humour/wry/"people are funny" — 01varvara @ 00.00
Tags: ,

00 grumpy fuckers coffee shop 0290915


A coffee shop opened in Cardiff for people who hate mornings. Grumpy Fuckers’ Coffee Shop opened its door yesterday and demand found overwhelming. Manager Clive GrimGrits told WalesOnCraic:

I had to get up at 05.00 to get the bastard shop open. I hated it. Most people are still sleeping at that time. We opened the shop at 06.00, and by 07.00, we’d already sold out of “Fuck You Frappuccinos” as well as our “Piss Poor Tea”. Every fucker who came in had a face on them like a slapped arse, so I closed the shop at 8.00, so I could go home and get some proper sleep like most people do.

One customer said that she’d visit the coffee shop again, despite everyone bumping into each other and not saying a word, “It was perfect for me. I could just sit there, thinking how shit my life is and how I hated going to work. They guy next to me was asking whether they did any cooked breakfasts, but the manager told him to fuck off and get a life. Everyone was grumpy, which was fine because we were all grumpy together”.

1 September 2015

Grumpy Fucker



Here’s the best of the comments:

Even after a coffee, I’m a mucking ciserable funt. Branch in Richmond please.

Hmm… “mucking ciserable funt”… that’s “miserable fucking cunt”… with the initial letters moved about. What a difference a letter makes!


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