Borowitz Report… Americans Favour Legalising Pot and Criminalising Congress

Friends don’t let friends run for Congress…

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One Toke Over the Line, a classic by Brewer and Shipley

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One toke over the line, Sweet Jesus…

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Cheech n’ Chong with the classic Acapulco Gold

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This is why no decent person trusts the US Congress…

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I Got Stoned and I Missed It… Shel Silverstein’s mouldy oldy…

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I shared a cone with Santa…

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According to a poll released on Thursday, by a huge majority, Americans support laws legalising marijuana and criminalising Congress. While the poll reflects a relaxation of attitudes about recreational pot use, it also suggests that many Americans now view membership in Congress as a problem ravaging the nation. Harland Dorrinson, an activist who spent years mobilising support for criminalising Congress, said, “This poll reinforces what many of us have been saying for a long time… Congress destroys lives. I’ve seen productive members of society get involved with Congress and completely lose the will to work. They just sit there, totally numb, and out of touch with reality”. He noted that the once prevalent view that membership in Congress was “harmless” is now being discredited. He said, “If you look at what happens to someone’s brain after ten, twenty, or even thirty years in Congress, it’s devastating. There’s severe impairment”. Additionally, he warned that Congress is a “gateway elective office” that leads many to try running for President.

27 February 2015

Andy Borowitz

The New Yorker

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/americans-favor-legalizing-pot-and-criminalizing-congress

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4 December 2014. Republicans Turn US House of Representatives into “House of Shame”… Condemn “Russian Aggression” and Give Apache Sacred Land to Godless Developers

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Read this and this. Let’s not waste our time. This is proof that the US Republican Party is godless and without shame. No Orthodox Christian can vote for such nor should we even associate with such depraved filth. They attack our ancestral Motherland and Faith… not only does this resolution testify to that, do recall how Ted Cruz recently spat on Arab Orthodox leaders. If Orthodox have anything to do with such theomachistic shits, we should shun and ostracise them. After this, I’d say that all Orthodox who belong to the Republican Party should leave it. The anti-Russia resolution shows the anti-Orthodox mindset of the GOP, whilst the rape of the Apache sacred land shows that they have contempt for all religion (they’d sell their mothers’ graves if they’d profit on it!). I’d say that you can worship Almighty God and honour decency, or you can worship the Almighty Dollar and stand for naked sinful greed. It shows that the Republicans’ so-called “Pro-Life” platform is a sham, a figleaf to cover their undisguised covetousness and Know-Nothing hatred of other cultures. Pro-Life? I’d think NOT! Don’t you get taken in, either! Orthodoxy or the Republican Party… which do YOU stand for? You can’t stand for both!

This gives you the full measure of Victor Potapov, JP, Terry Mattingly, Alexander Webster, Lyonyo Kishkovsky (and his daughter Sofia), S A Schmemann, Rod Dreher, John Whiteford, and Darrell Issa. I don’t believe that any of them are repentant (indeed, they see themselves as shining white knights), nor do I expect any of them to deviate from their course. Do act accordingly…

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101-Year-Old Florida Congressional Candidate Plans Early Bird Concession: Joe Newman Still Fighting Good Fight… Knows He’ll Lose

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Hours before Election Day, Joe Newman already had a gracious “congrats to the winner” letter written and his concession party planned. Seems it’s easy to be a good loser when you are 101-years-old. Newman is at the end of a quixotic write-in campaign for US Congress from southwest Florida, and he’s not letting his infinitesimal chances of victory stand in the way of a good party. The get-together is due at 19.00 EST on Election Day at a pizza place in Sarasota. It’s a little late for the early bird special, but just in time to watch the votes come in. What’s the only thing that could spoil the fun? Joe himself! Give this centenarian a microphone and you have a long night ahead of you. He said, “You get me on a soapbox and you’ve got trouble”.

Born in 1913, Joe Newman is doubtless the oldest candidate for Congress this year. The incumbent he’s challenging, Republican Vern Buchanan, is a relative baby at 63. Florida’s 16th district stretches up Florida’s Gulf Coast from Venice up past Bradenton. The district is reliably Republican… so much so that the Democrats essentially gave up on it. Buchanan’s Democratic Party challenger, former NFL player Henry Lawrence, raised just 48,000 USD (2.1 million Roubles. 294,000 Renminbi. 2.94 million INR. 54,700 CAD. 55,000 AUD. 38,200 Euros. 30,000 Pounds) election cycle to Buchanan’s 1.5 million USD (66 million Roubles. 9.2 million Renminbi. 92 million INR. 1.7 million CAD. 1.72 million AUD. 1.2 million Euros. 940,000 UK Pounds). In that gap, Newman saw an opportunity. The retired accountant got the idea to run at a local meeting of The Nation magazine’s discussion group. His original goal was to get 101 votes, one for every year he’s been on this green earth. Now, he’s hoping to do better than that.

Newman said that he’s done just 10 or 15 campaign events, but the novelty factor of his age has rewarded him with heavy press coverage. In October, he faced off against Buchanan and Lawrence in a three-way debate. Newman, although a registered Democrat, is to the left of the Democratic mainstream. The son of a Studebaker factory hand from Indiana, Newman grew up in the Workmen’s Circle, the Yiddish socialist fraternal group. Newman and his wife, Sophie, were among the founders of The Logan Center, a school for developmentally disabled children. Sophie Newman and their daughter, Rita Jo, are both deceased. Newman now lives with his girlfriend Anita and her daughter.

Despite his age, Newman’s radical views have hardly mellowed with time. He said, “Rather than having industry and commerce as the tool which creates wealth for the benefit of the society, the market system is using government to protect its own interests and letting the society as a whole go to hell, but the essentials of life we can achieve through government, and government has to have the authority to create the wealth to do them”. He’s had harsh words for Buchanan, his Republican opponent, who he said fails basic economics by promising to cut taxes and balance the federal budget at the same time, saying, “My contention is that’s rather unrealistic, if not stupid”. On Election Day, he’ll be out reminding people not to let big money buy their vote… then, handing them fake million-dollar bills that say that they should vote for him. His family, at least, will be glad to see the race end… so he can stop getting himself so riled up at such a ripe old age. Newman mused, “Because I’m 101, they’re a little bit concerned that I can overdo it and push myself too hard”.

3 October 2014

Josh Nathan-Kazis

The Jewish Daily Forward

http://forward.com/articles/208434/-year-old-florida-congressional-candidate-plans/

7 October 2014. GOP Chicken-Hawk Films Campaign Ad in Veterans’ Cemetery… THAT BE DISGUSTING!!

Kevin Cramer hears “his master’s voice”… it sure as hell ain’t yours…

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Kevin Cramer (R-ND), a pro-war, anti-labour, pro-oligarch, anti-family US Representative, filmed a campaign ad in a veterans’ cemetery. There be one problem, kids… it’s ILLEGAL! There be a moral problem with it too… this amoral coward is a CHICKEN HAWK… a gutless yellow slinker who refused to serve in the forces! He wants to score political points on the graves of our honoured war dead (even if the war is wrong, the soldiers ARE honourable and no one should desecrate or trivialise their sacrifice and graves)… whilst being a shirker, a slacker, and a stay-at-home boaster.

This is DISGUSTING. However, it’s par for the course for the Republican Party… Willy Romney was a coward who refused to serve… Paul Ryan was a coward who refused to serve… Rush Limbaugh was a coward who refused to serve… Glenn Beck was a coward who refused to serve… Rich Lowry was a coward who refused to serve… Bill O’Reilly was a coward who refused to serve… Bill Kristol was a coward who refused to serve… Rod Dreher was a coward who refused to serve… Sean Hannity was a coward who refused to serve… Rick Santorum was a coward who refused to serve… Newt Gingrich was a coward who refused to serve… Andrew Breitbart was a coward who refused to serve. Note well that most of the warmongers are gutless Chicken Hawk Cowards. It’s a veritable Hall of Shame… yet, they claim to be patriots; what’s more, they claim to be greater patriots than the rest of us are! What nasty unfounded twaddle… if you refused to serve, you’re no patriot of the first water, and that’s that.

Stay away from the hallowed graves of our war dead, you POS motherfuckers. You have NO right to use veteran’s cemeteries as you did, as you refused to serve your country. Again, I find that DISGUSTING!

Nobody but a Republican would utter such lies… “I’ve never seen such a document that was more crowded with infamous falsehood and distortion. Scoundrels and piss-ants”… I’m with Cordell Hull on this one..

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