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Editor:
We all need a smile. Yes, the serious news IS important… and we’ll get back to it. However, we need to unwind and smile, too. Here’s to all youse Yinzers out there… especially, with a hat tip to the memory of the late Metropolitan Constantine Bugan, who never left the old nabe and never forgot where he came from (light a candle for Metropolitan Gus the next time that you’re at liturgy). Does he still pull pranks in eternity (he was famous for his mechanical mouse)? One hopes so…
BMD
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Oliver Onion, 0-4 in pierogi races this season, didn’t finish last during Wednesday night’s sprint. The bowtie-and-glasses-clad pierogi crossed the finish line in right field a solid three seconds before Luke Emory Oyler. Police spokesman Sonya Toler said that Pittsburgh police charged the Chambersburg PA man with defiant trespass after he decided to enter the highly anticipated showdown that follows the fifth inning. At least five park staff members chased Mr Oyler, 29, as he ran shirtless across the outfield whilst the pierogies raced. He crossed the finish line and leaped over a railing, where park staff tackled him and the cops handcuffed him. Today, Mr Oyler didn’t respond to requests for comment. Cheese Chester clinched his first win of the season by edging out Sauerkraut Saul. During the other show at PNC Park on Wednesday night, the Pirates beat the Chicago Cubs 4-3 in 16 innings. The game, which carried into Thursday morning, lasted 5 hours, 55 minutes, making it the longest baseball game ever played in Pittsburgh.
Editor:
Everything is still fine with the world. Metropolitan Gus would’ve loved this… it’s a hoot…
BMD
3 April 2014
Lexi Belculfine
Pittsburgh (PA) Post-Gazette
Voices from Russia 
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