23 June 2016. This Is For REAL… I Shit You Not (Pun INTENDED)

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Read this.

I shit you not… if someone pisses you off, these jabronies will send them a box of fresh malodorous animal turd (at least, one hopes that it’s animal and not human). Doesn’t this just give you the warm n’ fuzzies just thinking about it? Trust me, I’m not the only imperfect being out there who found this a breath of “fresh air” and a right smart way of getting even with the assholes pulling asshattery in your life. Kids… somebody’s making money off this… ONLY IN AMERICA… “Land of Opportunity”. What’ll they do next? I don’t wanna know…

BMD

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6 April 2013. RIA-Novosti Infographics. April Fool’s Day Throughout the World

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Perhaps, April Fool’s Day is one of the few holidays, although it’s never received official recognition, which is widely-celebrated all over the world. Over many years, each country developed its own unique April Fool’s practical jokes and traditions. You can read more about them in the Infographic.

Historians argue over the exact origin of the holiday. One version attributes the origin of this festival to Ancient Rome, where, in mid-February (not at the beginning of April), they held a Fool’s Carnival. Lucius Apuleius thought that ancient Romans associated “April Fool’s” hoaxing with a holiday called the Hilaria, in honour of Cybele the Great Mother goddess {only part of the holiday was a farce, there were serious aspects, too: editor}. Others argue that this holiday originated in ancient India, where they celebrated a Foolish Holiday on 31 March. On the other hand, in the ancient world, some speculate that only the Ancient Irish had a Fool’s Festival on 1 April, in honour of the New Year. Icelandic sagas relate that the custom of hoaxing on 1 April started in memory of the ásynja Skaði , daughter of the jötunn Þjazi .

Another version claims that the Fool’s Festival on 1 April in Ancient India and Rome originated as part of the celebration of the vernal equinox. People celebrated with jokes, pranks, and clowning around on New Year’s Day (it occurred in the spring in those days). People tried to appease the whims of spring weather with jokes and spoofing. Yet another variation insists that April Fool’s Day is associated with the transition to the Gregorian calendar, introduced by Pope Gregory XIII Boncompagni in 1582. In the Middle Ages, people celebrated the New Year in late March… the New Year’s Festival began on 25 March and ended on 1 April. In the middle of the 16th century, King Charles IX reformed the calendar in France, moving the New Year to 1 January, but many continued to celebrate on 1 April. The people who kept the old holiday and gave each other gifts became known as “April Fools”. Yet, everyone wanted in on the fun. It became “April Fool’s Day”, and went on from there.

1 April 2013

RIA-Novosti

http://ria.ru/infografika/20130401/930032689.html

http://en.ria.ru/infographics/20130401/180379926/How-the-World-Celebrates-April-Fools-Day.html

2 April 2013. April Fools’ Prank on JP from Michał Kalina Circulating… NO SALE

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Several of the Cabinet informed me of a prank from Michał Kalina making the rounds. Here’s one report:

Be careful with a spurious report making the rounds about JP being a serious candidate under consideration to take over Rue Daru. It’s another April Fools’ prank from Michał Kalina, and they seem to be hoping you’ll fall for it.

Firstly, everyone knows that the Phanar rejected all candidates to replace Gabriel de Vylder. Secondly, JP is on the EP’s shit list after his stupid outburst about the GOAA. Ergo, I’d only believe this if it came out as an official post on patriarchia.ru… and, then, only after seeing snaps of his installation. In any case, if the Centre doesn’t want Fatso, why would the Phanar? Let’s be clear. The OCA doesn’t want Fatso. The Centre doesn’t want Fatso. If Fatso’s been on the EP shit list for years, why would they want him?

Michał Kalina is a Renovationist loon. He’s a St Fagomyr’s fanatic… and he dislikes me personally, I’m told. I’m not so stupid. Now that I’m in the sixth year of posting, I’ve got a good instinct on what’s naughty and what’s nice. Michał Kalina is bad ju-ju all around (where is Dr M’bogo of Addams Family fame when you need him?). Remember, there are some stories that one only believes if they come from OFFICIAL sources. This is one. In any case, Rue Daru doesn’t have the money to satisfy JP’s voracious appetite (in more ways than one).

It does take all kinds, doesn’t it?

BMD

This Just In Department:

One of the Cabinet sent this:

I called a friend who goes there. He laughed and told me to quit drinking and go to bed… no one wants Metropolitan Jonah excepts his fellow closet cases.

Touché… Mr Kalina goes down in flames.

BMD

More Good Stuff from the Cabinet:

I got this:

For Rue Daru, you must speak French and Russian fluently; you must be willing to be a vicar bishop for the Greek Metropolitan, not a dud convert. This is just ridiculous!

Amen.

BMD