Voices from Russia

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Only in Russia… Vodka-Loaded Apocalypse Kits Go on Sale in Siberia

The label on the bag reads, “Kit for Facing the End of it All… The Worst Hasn’t Come Yet!

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Now, concerned citizens have the opportunity to face the alleged “end of the world” fully prepared, using an apocalypse kit that went on sale in Tomsk in western Siberia. The kit contains a bottle of vodka, a packet of buckwheat kasha, a tin of fish, some candles and matches, a notepad and pencil, medication, including heart medicine, and soap on a rope, in an apparent concession to pessimists. It also contains an ID card that you must fill out by hand “in case your ID cards demagnetise” and an instruction card spelling out various games to alleviate apocalypse-related boredom. The kits… produced, somewhat illogically, by a local bridal party operator… are available in bright yellow and glamorous pink, costing a modest 890 Roubles (28 USD. 22 Euros. 19 UK Pounds) apiece.

On Monday, Rossiiskaya Gazeta reported that more than 1,000 kits were already sold as of last week. The kit maker’s director, Yuliana Shchegolyova, told RIA-Novosti that the kits are popular corporate New Year gift packages, saying on Sunday, “We checked the internet, and the only nation to offer such kits was the Mexicans”. Shchegolyova added the kit was a joke, but according to the Sostav.ru website on Monday, that seemed to have gone over the heads of local officials, who announced plans to ban kit sales over the vodka and the medication, which require special permits to sell. An end-of-the-world craze is sweeping the former USSR. Last week, free Apocalypse survival courses opened in the Ukrainian city of Simferopol, and concerned Latvians unsuccessfully sought earlier to obtain insurance from the end of the world and the coming of Cthulhu. Reports stated that people across Russia steal necessities and try to weasel out of debts, citing the upcoming demise of the world as we know it.

Current eschatological expectations are based on a 5,000-year-long Maya calendar, which has 21 December 2012 as its final date {21 December is Stalin’s birthday! Puckish leftist friends have said, “Maybe, it’s the end of vulture capitalism”. Who knows? We’ll have to see, no?: editor}. People have offered various hypotheses about the exact means of the Apocalypse, although mainstream scientists reject all of them. The last end-of-the-world craze took place in 2011, when American Christian” radio host Harold Camping predicted the “Rapture” on 21 October 2011. He was wrong.

26 November 2012

RIA-Novosti

http://en.rian.ru/russia/20121126/177749128.html

Editor’s Note:

It takes ALL kinds to make a world, including stark raving nutters. Tyotya Vara suggests that if you run into such, pick up the jug and take a healthy snort. If that doesn’t put a smile on your face, why, you can repeat the procedure. However, I don’t recommend that you do more than two applications of “Mother’s Little Helper”. I won’t be responsible for your hangover the next morning (although I do suggest that you eat a pickle and drink some pickle juice to drive away the friendly little gremlins if you do overindulge… we’ve all done it… Bozhe moi!… NOT one of my favourite feelings, no way!).

BMD

 

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Lavrov Sez Moscow Would Block Any Initiative Calling for Force Against Iran

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On Tuesday, Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said that Russia would scuttle any UN Security Council resolution that could be interpreted as allowing military action against Iran. In an interview with Rossiiskaya Gazeta, he was asked whether Israel or the USA could start military operations in Iran, and he replied, “As the Libyan experience has shown, sadly, a military scenario is possible”. Therefore, Russia will exercise an extremely cautious approach at the UN Security Council. Lavrov noted, “We won’t allow any more such disingenuous interpretations. We’ll see to it that no resolution is open to interpretation like the one on Libya”. The West, led by the USA, suspects Iran of pursuing a secret nuclear weapons programme, but the Iran says it needs nuclear power solely for civilian uses. Lavrov observed that there’s “absolutely no evidence” that Iran decided to include a military component in its nuclear programme.

23 October 2012

RIA-Novosti

http://en.ria.ru/russia/20121023/176857678.html

Editor’s Note:

All of Wet Willy’s bellicose dribbling on Iran is sheer bullshit and moonshine. Lavrov appeared in public with Salehi a month ago, and that signalled a Russian guarantee to Iran. China’s behind that move, so, any military operation against Iran isn’t going to happen any time soon (or later). To put it bluntly, the USA is in “check” and it can’t move. All that it (and its amen corner in Israel’s Likud) can do is to make loud toothless growls. Israel lacks the means and the USA lacks the money and human military resources to attack a state such as Iran. It’s not Panama, Grenada, Iraq, Kosovo, or Lebanon. It’s a large and cohesive nation-state with one of the longest histories of any human society. The last time that the USA tried messing with a near-peer, it failed miserably (South Ossetia in ’08Saakashvili was just Foggy Bottom’s stooge). Also, remember what the PLA did to the USA in Korea… the Chinese infantry wiped up the floor with the Americans (the only thing that ensured a stalemate there was American firepower compensated for lacklustre American boots on the ground… that’s still true today). The same would happen here… but worse.

Do you really want to vote for a liar on 6 November? Willy knows all that I’ve written is true, yet he still makes irresponsible and vacuous threats. Is that what you want in a president? President Obama isn’t perfect by a long shot, but he won’t attack Iran just to prove his machismo… Willy would. That should scare you…

BMD

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